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News · Property
Village Mansion For Sale At £4.1m, Comes With Butler Who Cannot Legally Be Removed
Estate agents confirm the covenant on Nethercombe Warren transfers the basement servant with the deeds, and requires the buyer to bury him in the herbaceous border when the time comes.
By Nigel Fanshawe · Read more →
Horticultural Society exposed as front for ayahuasca ceremonies, committee insists minutes ‘strictly for members’
A four-month undercover investigation uncovers tribal drumming, ceremonial nudity, and a raffle, held the same evening, for a hanging basket.
By Our Investigations Correspondent (name withheld · Read more →
Ferry terminal ‘on track’ for 2056, council insists
Over budget, landlocked, and thirty years late, but ready, we are assured, for when the sea finally arrives.
By Nigel Fanshawe · Read more →
Village fete cancelled for ‘excessive normality’
By Mike Gerch · Read more →
Village's only coffee shop closed Mondays and Tuesdays, Thames Valley Police ‘on high alert’ for civil unrest
Two consecutive mornings without coffee is, officers confirm, well within the threshold for a Public Order Support Unit
By Mike Gerch · Read more →
Residents ‘spiritually exhausted’ as nobody can remember which week is recycling
Collection remains Monday, as it has for eleven years. Which Monday is another matter entirely.
By Nigel Fanshawe · Read more →
Our Best Reporter Introduces Herself, At Length
Margaret Pinnock was asked for two hundred words about the staff and has written about Margaret Pinnock instead.
By Margaret Pinnock · Read more →