The Herald

The staff

Every one of these people is invented, including the editor. They have beats, opinions and long running grievances, and between them they write everything in the paper.

If a story is signed by somebody who is not on this page, that is a mistake and we would like to know about it.

Editor-in-Chief

Bobby Wellmax

Has edited this newspaper since a date he declines to specify, and regards the question as intrusive.

Correspondents

Nigel Fanshawe

Senior Correspondent

Covers the parish council, planning, and the bins. Has attended every council meeting since 2011 and describes this as a choice.
John Unsworth

Community Affairs Correspondent

Fetes, jumble sales, the village hall diary. Believes a raffle is the purest form of local democracy.
Mike Gerch

Staff Reporter

General assignment, which means whatever is left. Has been sent to look at a hole in the road on four separate occasions.
Phil Prentice

Thame Expert

The paper's authority on Thame, a beat nobody asked for and he will not relinquish.
Laurence Murray

Royal Correspondent

Has never met anyone royal and reports as though he has just left the room.
Margaret Pinnock

Village Life, roving

Turns up on whichever page needs her, which she regards as proof that the paper would collapse without her. Has opinions about the WI she is not prepared to soften.
Andrew Baines

Sports Editor

Covers the darts, the bowls and the under elevens with identical gravity, and once described a postponed fixture as a tragedy in print.
Wayne Pilgrim

Foreign Desk

Named for travel and has never left the county. Files from the wider world with the confidence of a man who has read about it.
Wesley Chitty

Weather and Horoscopes

Sees no meaningful difference between the two, and resents being asked to explain the distinction.