Lonely Hearts · Ref. 0083
I have been described, by my own sister, at a family lunch, in front of a trifle, as the human equivalent of a waiting room. I did not argue, because I had nothing prepared, which rather proved her case. Seeking someone who needs somewhere to sit quietly until something better is ready for them.
Two more from this week
- Sixty-eight, and I have perfected a wave for passing cars that conveys friendliness without inviting a stop. It took four years and it works so well that nobody has stopped in three. Seeking someone who ignores the wave entirely and pulls over.Ref. 0084
- I will soon be moving to the village, and I’ve just heard there will be a Greggs. Exciting times. š„¹ I usually eat at least 2 of my 5 meals a day from Greggs, so as much as I love the village, I simply couldn’t see myself moving somewhere that was previously Greggless. I have standards, and one of them is access to a hot pastry within walking distance. I'd like to meet someone who gets on with my 7 cats and 2 pit bull terriers. Ideally someone called Greg. ā¤ļø It would save time, avoid confusion and make every Greggs visit feel strangely romantic. My hobbies include cosy nights in, eating baked goods, scrolling Facebook Marketplace, and occasionally answering the door if I’m expecting a delivery. I also enjoy saying “I’ll just have one” and then returning home with enough food to cater a small christening. I’m looking for someone caring, loyal and financially stable enough to understand that “shall we get a Greggs?” is not a question. It is a lifestyle, a commitment and, on difficult days, a cry for help. Greg, if you’re out thereā¦ your Steak Bake awaits.Ref. 0078