Lonely Hearts · Ref. 0084
Sixty-eight, and I have perfected a wave for passing cars that conveys friendliness without inviting a stop. It took four years and it works so well that nobody has stopped in three. Seeking someone who ignores the wave entirely and pulls over.
Two more from this week
- I will soon be moving to the village, and I’ve just heard there will be a Greggs. Exciting times. š„¹ I usually eat at least 2 of my 5 meals a day from Greggs, so as much as I love the village, I simply couldn’t see myself moving somewhere that was previously Greggless. I have standards, and one of them is access to a hot pastry within walking distance. I'd like to meet someone who gets on with my 7 cats and 2 pit bull terriers. Ideally someone called Greg. ā¤ļø It would save time, avoid confusion and make every Greggs visit feel strangely romantic. My hobbies include cosy nights in, eating baked goods, scrolling Facebook Marketplace, and occasionally answering the door if I’m expecting a delivery. I also enjoy saying “I’ll just have one” and then returning home with enough food to cater a small christening. I’m looking for someone caring, loyal and financially stable enough to understand that “shall we get a Greggs?” is not a question. It is a lifestyle, a commitment and, on difficult days, a cry for help. Greg, if you’re out thereā¦ your Steak Bake awaits.Ref. 0078
- Sixty-one, and my entire social calendar is now the four minutes of conversation I get at the checkout of the community shop, which I have started stretching by buying items one at a time. Seeking someone to talk to at home so I can stop bulk-purchasing tinned pulses as a social strategy.Ref. 0061