Lonely Hearts · Ref. 0078
I will soon be moving to the village, and I’ve just heard there will be a Greggs. Exciting times. 🥹 I usually eat at least 2 of my 5 meals a day from Greggs, so as much as I love the village, I simply couldn’t see myself moving somewhere that was previously Greggless. I have standards, and one of them is access to a hot pastry within walking distance. I'd like to meet someone who gets on with my 7 cats and 2 pit bull terriers. Ideally someone called Greg. ❤️ It would save time, avoid confusion and make every Greggs visit feel strangely romantic. My hobbies include cosy nights in, eating baked goods, scrolling Facebook Marketplace, and occasionally answering the door if I’m expecting a delivery. I also enjoy saying “I’ll just have one” and then returning home with enough food to cater a small christening. I’m looking for someone caring, loyal and financially stable enough to understand that “shall we get a Greggs?” is not a question. It is a lifestyle, a commitment and, on difficult days, a cry for help. Greg, if you’re out there… your Steak Bake awaits.
Two more from this week
- Sixty-one, and my entire social calendar is now the four minutes of conversation I get at the checkout of the community shop, which I have started stretching by buying items one at a time. Seeking someone to talk to at home so I can stop bulk-purchasing tinned pulses as a social strategy.Ref. 0061
- Forty-nine. I have a sourdough starter I have kept alive for six years, which is four years longer than my last relationship and considerably more responsive. Seeking someone who will not be jealous, because the jar wins, it has always won, I have made my peace with it.Ref. 0063