Lonely Hearts · Ref. 0056
Newly single, previously married to the WhatsApp group man (Ref. 0042, and yes, I've seen what he wrote, and no, none of it's a lie). Seeking someone who mutes notifications and a slightly less bleak outlook, though I accept that may be asking a lot of anyone in this village.
Placed in the edition of 21 September 2026.
This advert has come off the column. Its author, presumably, has not given up.
Two more from this week
- Early forties. I have deleted the app, and I would like that recorded here, in print, in a publication, because saying it out loud in my kitchen to a cat who eats meat in front of me has not been working as a deterrent.Ref. 0079
- I am looking for someone aligned: up at five, matcha before speech, reformer at six, no refined sugar, no seed oils, no complaining about the cold plunge, no opinions during the breathwork.Ref. 0080