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The Haddenham Herald Thursday 8 October 2026
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Lonely Hearts · Ref. 0080

I am looking for someone aligned: up at five, matcha before speech, reformer at six, no refined sugar, no seed oils, no complaining about the cold plunge, no opinions during the breathwork.

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Two more from this week
  • I am the man who arrives forty minutes early to everything. I have now seen the inside of the village hall being set up more times than I have seen it being used, and the caretaker and I have an understanding that neither of us enjoys. Seeking someone who is late, so that I might finally experience suspense.Ref. 0081
  • Fifty-two. I have a shed with a chair in it, and I go out there to think, and what I think about, almost exclusively, is the shed. Seeking someone who will sit in a second chair I have not yet bought, in a shed that cannot accommodate it.Ref. 0082

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