Classifieds · Box C004
A reliable eyewitness who was actually at the fete and is prepared to say, on the record, what they saw near the coconut shy at approximately 2:40pm. Discretion guaranteed on our end, though we make no promises about the rest of the village. Reward is our undying gratitude and, if it comes to it, a credited mention as ‘a concerned resident’.
Placed in the edition of 21 September 2026.
This advert has come off the column. Its author, presumably, has not given up.
Two more from this week
- Upright piano, walnut, fully in tune with itself if nothing else. Free to anyone who can get it out of the front room, which we managed to get it into in 1998 by means nobody present can now reconstruct. Two of the legs unscrew, the third is load-bearing in a way our surveyor described as "philosophically interesting". Bring rope, bring optimism, bring a friend who owes you something substantial.Box C006
- Wanted: the second volume of a three volume history of the Buckinghamshire, borrowed from me at a barbecue in the general area of Haddenham and never seen since. I do not want volumes one or three. I have volumes one and three. I have read volumes one and three eleven times each and I can tell you now that the good bit is in volume two, or at least the bit that would settle a long-running disagreement about a culvert. No questions asked, though I will have several.Box C007