Classifieds · Box C009
For sale: forty eight metres of bunting, red and white, triangular, purchased for an occasion that was subsequently reorganised into a smaller occasion. It has been up once, in a drizzle, for ninety minutes. Comes with a laminated plan showing the intended route around the green and a note in a different handwriting reading "no". Will consider offers, will not consider being told the plan was overambitious.
Two more from this week
- Lost: one umbrella, large, golf-sized, green, distinguished by a bent spoke that makes a sound like a disappointed uncle when it opens. Last seen leaning against something in the general vicinity of the village green during the only dry week of the year, which tells you everything about my judgement. If found, please do not open it indoors, not for superstition, but because it takes two people and a written agreement to close it again.Box C010
- Upright piano, walnut, fully in tune with itself if nothing else. Free to anyone who can get it out of the front room, which we managed to get it into in 1998 by means nobody present can now reconstruct. Two of the legs unscrew, the third is load-bearing in a way our surveyor described as "philosophically interesting". Bring rope, bring optimism, bring a friend who owes you something substantial.Box C006