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The Haddenham Herald Thursday 8 October 2026
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Lonely Hearts · Ref. 0068

Sixty-three, and my proudest achievement is a tombola stall that broke even. Not profited, broke even, exactly, to the penny, which I regard as a kind of mathematical miracle and everyone else regarded as a slow Saturday. Seeking someone who will let me explain the spreadsheet.

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Two more from this week
  • I have reached the age where my back announces the weather before the forecast does, and I have started trusting it over the radio. Seeking someone who wants a relationship with a man who is slowly becoming a barometer with opinions, and who will be needed increasingly for the reaching of high shelves.Ref. 0069
  • Forty-six. I went to a gym induction, was asked about my goals, and said out loud, to a stranger, in a fully lit room, that I wanted to be the sort of person who has goals. He wrote it down. Seeking someone who can tell me what happens next, because he never did.Ref. 0070

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