Heard in Haddenham

This week's overheard moments

Collected, verbatim and without context, by a reporter who mostly just stands near people and doesn't leave when he should.

“The footpath sign's been turned round by the wind and nobody's touched it for a week. Four walkers have come back the other way looking cheerful, so arguably it's an improvement.” The stile off Church Lane

“They've started a walking group that meets at eight sharp every Sunday. It's been going four weeks and it has never once left the car park.” The bakery counter

“They've put up a sign saying the car park is now pay and display, and underneath, a second sign saying ignore the sign above. Both laminated, same laminator, same hand.” The village hall car park

“The church clock has been three minutes fast since August and the whole street has quietly adjusted to it. We're all early now, and we've never been happier.” Outside St Mary's

“She's brought her own mug because of the environment, and it holds a litre. The poor lad behind the counter is on his third attempt at the foam.” Norsk

“Someone's left a sofa by the recycling bins with a sign saying FREE, GOOD CONDITION. It's been rained on twice and two people have sat on it to wait for the bus.” The recycling point off Churchway

Send us a rumour, no names, no proof required.